September 26, 2011
I am sad to say that I really don't have much of anything to report on this week! We weren't able to meet with any investigators and we were't able to find any new ones! WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?! I am really trying to figure it out, but the answer isn't coming to me. On a much much much brighter note I had some of the most amazing personal studies of my entire mission this week. I'm not sure what made my studying different this week, but the spirit was just testifying over and over of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon as I was reading.
I was reading in the Book of Alma chapters 36-42 where Alma the younger is giving advice to his sons Helaman, Shiblon, and Corianton. I was especially impressed with is words to his son Shiblon. To be honest I was almost brought to tears when I could almost feel Alma's love for Shiblon. You can feel how proud he is of his son for being upstanding in the gospel, and valiant in his testimony of the Savior. I can't describe the feeling of urgency and desire I felt immediately to hear that from my Heavenly Father when I see Him again.
I was reflecting on Grandpa O. and how i'm almost positive that he was able to hear that from MANY people upon his arrival in the spirit world. I was on exchanges with an Elder in my district and we were talking about how when we're discouraged the adversary will place in our minds thoughts of doubt and inadequacy. Much like when we sin, we have feelings of guilt and shame. As we were talking he asked me if i've ever had the thought of going home. I was happy to say that I have never once felt like I wanted to go home.
I also was thinking that i really haven't had that much adversity in my mission thus far. I know almost every other missionary at one point or another has just been in a big state of unhappiness and i just don't feel like i've ever been there. Maybe it is because Satan is working harder on others than he is on me....i don't know. Any thoughts or ideas on that? I've been pondering and trying to study that for a few days now and haven't come to any conclusions. Anyway, i'm glad to know that i have a Heavenly Father who knows how this life thing works better than any of us do and is willing to show us his love in more ways that we can ever realize. I love you all so much and hope you have a great week. Be good, and i'd love to hear from you whenever you get a minute.
-Elder M. Brown